I’ve been reading The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Ruben – turns out, I’m an Obliger!
I’m fine with that, having read the book – it all makes sense! The other tendencies are Upholders, Questioners and Rebels. I was able to predict which tendency members of my family fell under too!
Click here to find out what Tendency you are!
When I was on my village’s swimming committee I would attend every meeting, whether I wanted to or not. Having to actually go swimming is a different story; I know it is good for me, but if I can’t be bothered, I simply won’t go!
Inner and Outer Expectations
That’s consistently been the case for me. Meeting my outer expectations, resisting my inner expectations.
You see, as the committee were relying on me, I met my outer expectations. I’d told people I would do something, so I must deliver.
Some Obligers have been known to fail at things they want to do, such as starting an online course, exercise or starting a new business. Due to only having themselves for accountability, brushing off an idea doesn’t effect anyone but themselves – resisting inner expectations.
The Obligers pattern can be remedied, once they know how. By creating outer accountabilities.
As an Obliger, starting my business couldn’t fail as I had my clients work to fulfil. So I never saw it as letting myself down – I’d be letting my clients down.
Promises made to yourself can be broken – Promises made to others cannot be broken.
It’s the same as when you really cannot be bothered with doing the house work, you’ll say something to yourself, along the lines of, “I’ll do it later, or tomorrow…” then you’ll leave it. However, if someone was coming over for a visit, you’d soon be whizzing around with the duster, vacuum and cleaning the toilet to the point it sparkles – that’s having some form of accountability.
Click the link above to see what your Tendencies are. Drop me an email to let me know what you got. I’d love to hear from you 😀 email@example.com